Sunday, 9 March 2014

It has been a very long time.

I guess it's to get out of this coma, what a grueling year. Overlooked marketing with Tywin, lessons learned. All I wanted to do was get that game out and I did, but at what cost really.

I'd finish work at 6am then catch a bus for 20 minutes, wait for 3-4 hours for my classes to begin and finish the day at 9pm. It was awful, heartbreaking and painful. I had dropped down to 42kg's but my weight didn't faze me in the slightest.  I liked the stress because I knew I was going somewhere,  in comparison to some of the other students I definitely stood out. Though I wish I could have studied full-time without the hassle of work and all the other bullshit that relationships require.

On the day Tywin launched my doubts in my relationship had come to a head and on the 31-3-13 I called it quits and asked her to leave. I usually give my goals 110%, that way if I fail, I know I tried my best and I know she had tried too for a very long time but some problems cannot be fixed, so I made a hard decision, the right decision and ended it there.

This compounded personal and professional stresses but I still managed to graduate with high marks and was offered the advance diploma, which I turned down. I needed a break and the teachers at SIT didn't really care, only a few did but the majority were so dead, their resentment for their jobs and personal insecurities were thrown up onto students for absolutely no reason and was usually reflected in their work ethic, I swear most of the bad students were reflections of their own shitty methods. Beyond a few good classes and a few great teachers the diploma just taught me how to teach myself, going to class just separated me from the distractions in my life and allowed me to focus, but I did most of my work in my own time.

My motto was:
I can sleep when I'm dead

And I didn't really sleep at all.

During my time away, I've gained weight, got a six pack , learnt how to play the piano, have written a lot of my own music, performed my music on stage, learnt how to rock climb, got a new partner, healed social circles and more.

And now I'm here again. I hope I never make the same mistakes I made during Tywin's development, I hope I'm ready to begin this new project.

I'm scared because I lost so much last time... And I really can't go through that again.

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